Sexual communication is crucial in both new and long-term relationships, especially when engaging in dominant/submissive dynamics. However, many individuals struggle to openly discuss and effectively communicate about their sexual desires. That's where a sex menu comes in as a powerful tool for sexual communication. In this article, we'll explore what a sex menu is, its benefits, and how to create one.
A sex menu is not a literal menu of sex acts but rather a list of sexual interests and BDSM activities. Each person rates their interest in each activity, allowing you to filter out uninteresting options, focus on mutually desired activities, and even discover new interests. Sex menus are often created using spreadsheet templates, which facilitate filtering, and can be found online.
Here are four key benefits of using a sex menu:
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Easy Communication: Openly discussing sexual preferences can be challenging for many individuals, even for those who are sex-positive. A sex menu provides a structured way to discuss new ideas and desires, reducing stigmas and making communication more comfortable.
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Exploration: A sex menu presents a wide range of sexual activities, which can lead to discovering new interests and expanding your sexual horizons. This is particularly true for individuals exploring BDSM, as going through the list can help uncover new desires and establish boundaries.
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Establishing Trust: Trust is crucial in sexual relationships, especially in BDSM dynamics where play can be intense. A sex menu facilitates explicit communication, promoting trust and ensuring safe, sane, and consensual interactions.
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Safety: By including information about medical conditions, allergies, and aftercare preferences, a sex menu helps ensure physical safety during sexual activities. It also serves as a document for keeping track of each other's well-being.
To create a sex menu, you can start with a ready-made template available online, such as in Google Sheets. Typically, a sex menu consists of four main sections: a list of sex acts and toys, a scoring system, notes for each activity, and a section for medical conditions, boundaries, and preferences.
Scoring can be done using different methods, such as a traffic light system (green for yes, yellow for maybe, and red for no) or a 1 to 5 scale (ranging from no to wanting to do the activity). The chosen scoring system should facilitate open conversation between you and your partner.
When filling out the sex menu, it's best to do it individually to alleviate any pressure. Honesty is crucial, as this is an opportunity to express your true desires. Avoid considering your partner's preferences and focus solely on what resonates with you.
Once completed, find a distraction-free and neutral environment to discuss the menu with your partner. Approach the conversation with openness, honesty, and curiosity, understanding that you may have different interests. Find common ground and explore activities that fulfill shared desires. Remember to revisit the menu periodically to reassess preferences and maintain alignment.
In conclusion, a sex menu is a valuable tool for sparking communication, ensuring safety, and satisfying both partners' desires. By approaching it with nonjudgmental curiosity, you can strengthen your relationship and create a more fulfilling sex life. If you're looking for products to enhance your sexual experiences, PinkCherry offers a wide selection of bondage gear, luxury sex toys, and more to bring your sex menu to life.